Smith: Why I'm leaving Indianapolis

"Just move to San Francisco already…"

For months, these words dominated a photo on my Facebook fan page. The phrase is spray-painted on a wall near Fountain Square. And underneath it, there's an image of Internet-famous Grumpy Cat along with a single word: "No!"

I've always loved this photo.

For years, it summed up my relationship with Indianapolis. I would stubbornly tout ideas about urban living and encourage difficult conversations about race and income inequality, and then certain, more traditionalist, Hoosiers would tell me to shut up and move away.

The photo was perfect. Until it wasn't.

You see, I am moving. Not to San Francisco, but close. About 90 minutes away, to Sacramento, Calif.

Why am I moving? Well, that's a complex question.

You see, I really do love Indianapolis. I've spent the last 10 years of my life here, the last few fighting for this to be a more worldly city that respects and invests in all of its residents equally. I've met some of my best friends here. I have a godson here. I have mentors here.

But my relationship with Indy has always been a bit awkward. I've always known — as I suspect many open-minded young professionals do — that the time would come when I would be tempted to leave this city for one that better reflects my ideals.

That's because living here — and being civically involved here — can be as fulfilling as it is tiring. To quote a friend: "What I love most about Indianapolis is I can make a difference here. What I hate most about Indianapolis is that I have to make a difference here."

We aren't Portland or Austin or Boston or San Francisco.

There aren't legions of people touting the benefits of the arts, explaining why investing in transit is a good thing, or demanding that we build up our social safety net, not tear it down.

It's often an uphill battle trying to convince Hoosiers that spending money on parks is a good thing; or that diversity — in all of its forms — is something to be embraced, not feared.

That education — preschool all the way through college — is something to be pursued and prized. That bike lanes aren't just a hassle for cars, that all poor people aren't lazy, that all black males aren't thugs, and that investing in troubled urban neighborhoods isn't a waste of money and energy.

That good enough is no longer good enough to compete in a world with Portlands and Austins and Bostons and San Franciscos.

Those ideas aren't always readily accepted in Indianapolis, and less so across the rest of Indiana. But it's not for lack of trying — and not just by me. A growing army of mostly young professionals are fighting mightily to transform Indy into a progressive city.

And they're making a huge dent.

You can see it in mounting excitement in Downtown, along Mass Ave and in Fountain Square. You can see it in urban core neighborhoods, where people have founded nonprofits and are driving programs to bring disconnected youth back into the fold and drive down crime. You can even see it in the Statehouse, where people regularly rally for bills that they know would help vulnerable Hoosiers, but stand no chance of passing.

It's at once exhausting and exhilarating.

At no time was this dichotomy more apparent than during the "religious freedom" law fiasco.

I wanted to cry when I hopped off a plane, reactivated my iPhone and got a slew of news alerts about Gov. Mike Pence skirting questions about whether the law would allow discrimination against gays and lesbians. I cringed just thinking about how Indiana was engaged in such a backward debate.

But I also cheered when I saw the backlash from the business community, from religious institutions, from politicians and from average Hoosiers who rallied en masse on Monument Circle. Indianapolis isn't close-minded and terrified of change, we said, and the world listened.

That's a new kind of community pride. A progressive one. A worldly one.

It's what I see when I sit on Mass Ave and watch young people pose as the "I" in the NDY sculpture. It's why the #LoveIndy hashtag has outperformed #BoycottIndiana in recent weeks on social media.

We know that Indianapolis is not what people outside of Indiana make it out to be. At the same time, most of us also know that Indianapolis is at a crossroads between what it was and what it is becoming.

Part of me feels guilty about giving into temptation and leaving this city at such a critical juncture. But a bigger part of me knows that it's time to go — and that there are others here who are willing to continue the fight.

I am honored to have been part of Indianapolis' evolution. I hope that I've left the city better than I found it because it certainly has done the same for me. I am a better person for calling this city home, and home it will always be.

#LoveIndy

Contact Star columnist Erika D. Smith on Twitter at @erika_d_smith or at www.facebook.com/ErikaDSmith.Journalist.