Tully: At Big Brothers Big Sisters, a call for help

The waiting list goes on and on at Big Brothers Big Sisters of Central Indiana.

The group is one of the most important in the region, certainly among those that have the most impact. And it improves the lives of hundreds of children every year. Still, there is that waiting list. That long waiting list.

On a Monday morning earlier this month, it included 584 names.

"That is 584 kids whose parents are asking for help," said Darcey Palmer-Shultz, the organization's chief executive officer. "That's 584 kids whose parents know there is something positive their kids can get from this program, and who have reached out to be a part of this."

Many men and women do volunteer with the organization, committing a few hours a month to serve as the mentor and friend to a boy or girl who can benefit from a positive adult role model and a bit of attention. This year, the group will serve about 1,150 children — one pizza outing, baseball game, movie, homework session, talk on the phone, or walk in the park at a time.

By the end of the year, roughly two-thirds of the children on the current waiting list will be matched with a big brother or big sister who has committed to at least a couple of meetings a month for a year. But their spots on the list will be filled by other children. And, so, that list will continue to have around 600 names. It's been that way for quite a while.

"The demand always outpaces us," Palmer-Shultz said.

So let's stop here and make the ask: If you're thinking about volunteering, and if you think Big Brothers Big Sisters could work for you, give the group a call (317-921-2201) or visit its website (www.bebigforkids.org). You can explore the options: One-on-one mentoring, as well as programs for friends to jointly serve as big brothers or big sisters, and for couples to do the same.

As Palmer-Shultz said, "It's not a one-year commitment to call us with questions or to fill out a form on our website." They'll help you figure out if the group is a good match; if not, they might suggest another of the area's great nonprofits.

Here's why it's important to reduce that list a little more. A world of studies has shown that mentoring programs such as Big Brothers Big Sisters have a tremendous benefit for children. It plays out, Palmer-Shultz said, showing me statistics, in everything from higher graduation rates to fewer incidents of drug use and teen pregnancy.

That's why that waiting list exists. It exists because parents, many of them single parents overwhelmed by life's demands, many of them raising children in neighborhoods full of risk, know that their children deserve any opportunity they can get.

"Parents want us in their lives," Palmer-Shultz said. "It's not a punishment. It's not a judgment. They have invited us into our lives. They want someone else in their lives who can help their child, or who can just be someone they can talk to."

That's why the list hurts.

More than a third of the children on it live within four of the city's most high-crime, high-poverty zip codes. The majority are boys. Many have experienced a lack of stability in their life. In almost every case, Darcey-Palmer said, the child and the mentor benefit. In the end, both the adult and the child learn a lot about a different part of their community, and their world.

At a Westside Starbucks earlier this month, 18-year-old Montario Quinn joked with Adam Brown, a 50-year-old systems analyst who has served as his big brother for nine years. They've done the usual — ballgames, state park trips, dinners out, college campus visits — but most important, they said, they've just been friends. It's helped a young man whose father lives out of state and who will be heading to college later this summer, after graduating from Ben Davis High School.

"He supported me through everything," Quinn said. "He kept me out of trouble. He taught me to look at things from everyone's perspective. It's important because you can find someone you can really trust. He's helped me think about what kind of man I want to be."

Brown said his volunteer work has never been a chore. It's mostly been about talking, he said, and listening. But he knows it has helped, and that means a lot to him.

"When I'm old and gray," he said, "I want to know that I did something to help somebody. Other than raising my own kids and helping raise my grandson, I can't think of anything that's made me feel better."

Quinn is leaving for the University of Evansville soon. But now that he is entering adulthood he and Brown are talking about one day joining Big Brother's "Big Friends" Program, which matches two adult friends with a child. Quinn said he wants to help kids in the same the way his big brother helped him.

What a great way to tackle that list.

You can reach me at matthew.tully@indystar.com or at Twitter.com/matthewltully.

To volunteer:

Big Brothers Big Sisters of Central Indiana provides children ages 8 to 18 with mentoring relationships. Programs include 1-on-1 relationships, as well as those in which friends or couples jointly mentor children. There are nearly 600 Marion County children waiting for mentors. Being a "Big" requires a one-year commitment and roughly two to four meetings per month. Volunteers can expect to be enrolled, trained, and matched within 90 days. Contact Big Brothers Big Sisters at www.bebigforkids.org or at 317-921-2201