Colts' Donald Thomas fights to get back in game

It's early August. The Indianapolis Colts are playing the New York Jets. It's a preseason game. The outcome simply does not matter.

And, yet, Donald Thomas is crying.

He was supposed to be doing something more than sitting helplessly on his sofa, utterly failing to control his emotions. He was not supposed to be watching a seemingly meaningless football game. No, he was supposed to playing in it.

"That first game was so hard to watch," the Colts' veteran offensive guard said of the 2014 exhibition opener. "But I had to watch. Those were my brothers out there. You want to be out there and celebrate with them. It was rough."

It was a familiar feeling, the sense of helplessness that overcame Thomas. Still, you never really get used to injured reserve – even after two consecutive seasons wasting away on it.

Here's a breakdown of Thomas' past two years by the numbers: One quad muscle. Two tears. Two surgeries. Thirty games on the sideline. Countless sleepless nights. And, now, day after grueling day of rehabilitation that Thomas hopes will pay off with a return to the form that earned him a $14 million contract in 2013.

Of course, there also could be a different outcome. Football is a cruel game, and the NFL waits for no one. If Thomas can't make it back from his twice-torn right quadriceps, a feat few players have accomplished, who knows if he'll even get another shot? He remains on the Colts' roster because he was a promising young lineman the team hoped could help mitigate the protection issues of the past two seasons. But now he's a player from whom no one knows what to expect.

Including his bosses.

"It's not for lack of effort or attitude," General Manager Ryan Grigson said recently. "He's a great pro. ... We just have to go off how he's progressing and things like that. He's not ready yet. Those decisions and where he's at will be defined by his actual progress physically. This is a hard game. He's got to be confident that he can play on that thing again and make sure that he'll be able to stay healthy."

The problem is, those are questions that can't yet be answered. So, until they can, the work continues.

Funny thing is, Thomas used to have a flippant attitude about players who seemed to be frequently sidelined. Until he became one.

"I'm just like everybody else," he said. "When I'd be watching other sports, I would say the same thing, 'That dude's always hurt. They need to get rid of him. They're paying him all that money.' Now, in retrospect, people can say the same thing about me. When you put yourself in those shoes, you understand. It's not easy. No one wants this.

"No one."

Thomas has gotten a vivid dose of reality the past two years. Take, for instance, the timing of his second quad injury, in the first week of training camp last season. Installed as the starter at left guard, he went down with the injury, immediately removed his helmet, slamming it into the turf in frustration.

Quad torn. Season over. Again.

After surgery, he went home to an infant son and wife, Quita, approaching her final month of pregnancy. He sat there, likely on that same sofa from which he watched that preseason game, so hobbled he was unable to even fetch groceries from the car. Asking for help became unavoidable.

"Man, she's nine months pregnant and she has to bring this big case of water in the house," Thomas said. "It was so bad that I would call (teammate) Lance Louis to come over and help out sometimes. I'd just say, 'Man, can you just grab the trash cans from in front of the house? I'd really appreciate it.'"

Then there was the evening Quita went into labor. Driving had been impossible for Thomas because of his severely limited range of motion in his right leg. But doctor's orders went out the window that night.

"I had to tear off the brace and drive for the first time," Thomas said, recounting how he gritted through pain that may or may not have rivaled his wife's contractions. "I couldn't make her drive herself to the hospital. I mean, come on. The whole thing weighed on us. People don't see that other side of it. It's really humbling. You feel like you've lost control of the situation. (My wife) deserves an award because she went through a lot two years in a row."

Speaking of which, no one can sufficiently explain how Thomas sustained the exact same injury to the exact same muscle two years in a row. He racked his brain, and doctors did the same. Nothing. No answers.

"The second time it happened, I stayed up a lot of nights and wondered," Thomas said. "There was no rhyme or reason. I prayed about it and just let it go… I did everything I was supposed to do coming up to that point. Nobody really had an answer for me."

That's because there really isn't an answer.

"It could be just genetics," said Scott Hudson, athletic trainer and strength and conditioning coach at St. Vincent Sports Performance said. "It's not the athlete's fault. It's not a doctor's fault, not a rehab person's fault.

"I call it bad luck."

The one thing no one can quibble with is this: The road back is tough.

"It's not easy," Hudson said. "He's got to fire out of three-point stance. It's a powerful muscle."

If he does come back, Thomas must learn to trust his quad and play with self-assurance.

"For the big guys playing (the) interior line of scrimmage, (they have) defensive lineman having 700 pounds on them on a double team, and he's coming off a (leg injury)," coach Chuck Pagano said. "It takes some time to gain your confidence."

Right now, Thomas still isn't back on the field. In fact, that won't come for some time. Pagano said he doesn't expect Thomas on the practice field before training camp, at the earliest. But there remain many mileposts before that point.

"We haven't done any football stuff yet," Thomas said of his rehab work. "A lot of pool work, a lot of biking. The main thing this time is to not push it. You might say, 'I feel good.' But if you're supposed to hold something off for a couple more weeks, and in a couple weeks you're scheduled to do this or that, just wait those two more weeks until you're really ready."

Waiting. Thomas already has done so much of that. While he's been watching, the Colts have seen a revolving door of offensive line starters. Having Thomas in the fold gave the Colts options, but without him, the Colts have had a parade of starting guards (though Jack Mewhort did manage to settle in at left guard last season).

Losing Thomas was not insignificant. Thomas still hopes he can have the considerable impact that was once expected of him.

"It would mean everything" to make it back, he said. "You do it for yourself, as far as self-pride and all those things. But at the same time, you kind of know what the team invested in you. I don't want to seem like I'm a bust."

That's probably a little harsh, no matter how this ends. But the Colts aren't sitting around waiting for Thomas to retake his place in the lineup. They signed veteran guard/tackle Todd Herremans and CFL standout guard Ben Heenan. There's significant competition whether Thomas makes it back or not.

But he intends to be a part of the picture. It's been a revealing process for Thomas. He's learned about himself. Specifically, he's learned about his will. Even when his quad hasn't held up, that part of him is proving to be rock solid.

"It's all been a whirlwind," he said. "It's been difficult, but it's something that's made me stronger as a person. If I can come back from this, you can throw whatever else you want at me.

"I'll deal with it."

Follow Star reporter Stephen Holder on Twitter: @HolderStephen.