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Erika D. Smith: Meet gay Fishers couple married on Grammys

By Erika D. Smith
Caroline Martin (facing forward) and Sharon Chrust, Fishers, were among 33 couples married onstage by Queen Latifah during the Grammy Awards on Sunday night.

Dressed in a dapper black suit, Macklemore had just finished delivering a verse about love, doing it in the unabashedly unapologetic way that only a rapper can.

Then Queen Latifah took the stage.

And then Madonna.

And there they were. Caroline Martin and Sharon Chrust. A couple of grandmothers from Fishers, standing on the floor of the Staples Center during the 56th annual Grammy Awards, waiting to finally get married. They were among 33 couples who exchanged vows Sunday night in what amounted to a very bold statement on where the music industry's stands when it comes to same-sex marriage.

Madonna and Queen Latifa perform at the 56th Annual Grammy Awards in Los Angeles on Sunday.

Sitting in their hotel room on Monday — the same day the Indiana House amazingly altered a plan to ban same-sex marriage in the state's constitution, possibly delaying it — Martin and Chrust were still in shock as they talked about giving high-fives and hugs to Paul McCartney and Neil Patrick Harris.

"The experience of walking through that venue with all those people cheering and applauding and all the stars, there aren't words," said Chrust, 69. "There just aren't words."

Only a few people knew they were headed to Los Angeles to take their vows. It was all very "hush hush," with the deal only coming together in December. One of their daughters knew a producer who knew someone else who had heard Macklemore wanted to do something special at the Grammy Awards while performing his gay rights anthem "Same Love."

Until a few weeks ago, Martin, 71, didn't even know who Macklemore was. She's "not a pop person," she says, and is more into Beethoven and Brahms. Chrust, on the other hand, knew exactly who he was, remembering watching his video for "Same Love" and getting choked up.

It's no wonder.

Chrust and Martin have been together for more than 20 years, raised four kids together, and yet, they've never been able to get married in their home state. Sure, they've considered going to another state where it's legal to do it, but things have never panned out.

"But when this came up," Chrust said, "we had to do it."

The weekend flew by with a rehearsal and a behind-the-scenes preview of some performances on Saturday, and then an early trip to the Staples Center on Sunday. Throughout it all, Martin and Chrust said they met some wonderful people. They were the only Midwesterners, though, and definitely the oldest couple there to get married.

When the time came to walk through the tunnel and out into the star-studded spotlight, everyone was emotional. Indeed, even celebrities were wiping away tears.

"You could just feel the amount of excitement in every single couple," Chrust said.

Couples are wedded as Macklemore, pictured, and Ryan Lewis, Mary Lambert, Trombone Shorty and Madonna perform "Same Love" at the 56th Annual Grammy Awards on Sunday.

On Tuesday, the couple will fly home, marriage certificate from the state of California in hand, signed by Queen Latifah. To them, it means everything even if, to the state of Indiana, it still means nothing. Regardless of what happens with the plan to amend the constitution — and we're far from out of the woods yet — same-sex marriage is still illegal in Indiana.

It's a sobering thought how things can be so different here as opposed to there.

"It's depressing. It's very sad," Chrust said. "I can't understand why these people are so afraid of us living our lives together the way we have been."

Martin, reflecting of their comfortable lives in Fishers, sees a huge disconnect between what has been said in the Statehouse over the last few weeks and how their neighbors have accepted them with open arms.

"One of the things that we bring is a lifestyle that is considered normal," she said. "We came into a neighborhood with families. Nothing terrible happened to them because they bumped into a gay couple."

Still, both women are looking forward to coming home, seeing their grandchildren and getting back to their normal lives.

Asked if their experience at the Grammys had changed them, both were a bit unsure.

"It'll probably be strange," Chrust finally said, "but we'll cope."

Perhaps the answer lies in what Macklemore rapped just moments before their wedding: "A certificate on paper isn't gonna solve it all, but it's a damn good place to start."

The same can be said of the House's vote on Monday evening. It won't solve everything. It won't put Chrust and Martin on the same legal footing as every other heterosexual married couple in Indiana, but what those members did is a good place to start.

Contact Star columnist Erika D. Smith at (317) 444-6424, erika.smith@indystar.com, on Twitter at @erika_d_smith or at www.facebook.com/ErikaDSmith.Journalist