LIFE

These Indianapolis women are bosses, but don't call them bossy

Dana Hunsinger Benbow, and Shari Rudavsky
INDY
Indianapolis leaders weigh in on the Ban Bossy campaign.

The buzz surrounding "bossy" has been on overload lately.

Is it a bad word? Is it a pejorative term toward women and girls? Should it be banned?

Some of America's most notable women say yes.

The Ban Bossy campaign — created by the Girl Scouts of USA and LeanIn.Org, the nonprofit founded by Facebook's chief operating officer Sheryl Sandberg points out that an assertive boy is called a "leader." Girls are branded "bossy." The campaign is encouraging girls to take on leadership roles.

But plenty of other women, including celebrities, are joining in.

"I think the word 'bossy' is just a squasher," said "Glee" star Jane Lynch in a video for the campaign.

"I'm not bossy," Beyonce says in the video. "I'm the boss."

We reached out to some of Indianapolis' well-known female leaders to get their take on the word "bossy" and the campaign.

Betty Cockrum, president & chief executive officer, Planned Parenthood of Indiana & Kentucky

Betty Cockrum, president and CEO of Planned Parenthood of Indiana and Kentucky, says their should be a campaign to ban calling women ladies.

"I'd consider signing on for the Ban Bossy campaign if there is first a campaign to ban 'ladies.' We are women. Ladies are a subset of women. Please see Nora Ephron's 1996 commencement address at Wellesley."

Malina Jeffers, founder of Mosaic City, an organization that addresses diversity, equity and inclusion.

Malina Jeffers founded Mosaic City, an organization that addresses diversity, equity and inclusion. She has two young girls and says she would be disappointed at anyone shunning their opinion or decision to be bold.

"I think that when women are called bossy, maybe someone perceived them as actually being bossy. However, when a young girl is called bossy it has a completely different meaning and effect. Telling a girl she is bossy might mean (to her) that it's not OK to speak out or to be confident. That's not OK. It's especially wrong because the same isn't said of young boys. I support the Ban Bossy campaign as I have two young girls and would be disappointed at anyone shunning their opinion or decision to be bold."

Cassie Stockamp, president of The Athenaeum Foundation

Cassie Stockamp, president of the Athenaeum Foundation, says she is not a fan of bans but more a supporter of the positive.

"Funny. Can't think of a single time when it's (the word 'bossy') been used to describe a man."

"I'm not a fan of bans. I'm more of a supporter of the positive. The "Strong Woman" campaign draws me. Mother Teresa was once asked if she would join in a protest march against war. She said 'No, I will not march in a protest against war, but when you organize a march for peace, please let me know, I'll be the first to sign up.' "

Deborah Lawrence, vice president for administration and general counsel at Marian University

Deborah Lawrence, vice president for administration and general counsel at Marian University, says you never hear a man called bossy.

"I support the Ban Bossy campaign, not because I think it will really stop the use of the term, but because I believe it can make people stop and think about the stereotypes underlying the terms we use for girls, in particular, and women generally. Obviously, at a certain point, strong women become comfortable with the labels that are used to name them or their behaviors, and they carry on. But girls can be stopped in their tracks by this kind of labeling, and they may never grow up to become the strong women they could have been. That's a huge loss to all of us, and if the campaign can change that, we all win."

Martha Hoover, president of Patachou Inc.

Martha Hoover of Patachou, says she remembers as a young woman being faulted for taking the lead and speaking her mind.

"I support any campaign that calls for people to stop using terms that are demeaning and support negative stereotypes."

"I remember being accused of being bossy and there was never any misunderstanding. It was not a positive. I knew instinctively that it meant that I was being faulted for taking the lead and speaking my mind. My personality was such that I was fine with owning it, along with other not-so-nice words used to define strong-willed, ambitious and successful women. Better to own it, than to allow the intended use of the word to 'put me in my place.' In fact, I am rather proud of being called even worse every now and then."

Karen Crotchfelt, president and publisher of Star Media

Karen Crotchfelt, president and publisher of Star Media, says she encourages her daughter to be brave.

"I see often in the workplace that women are concerned about being labeled bossy and so instead they too often sit back and let others lead. Every day I encourage my daughter to be brave. … I encourage all women to do the same."

Patricia Wachtel, president and CEO of Girls, Inc.

Patricia A. Wachtel is president and CEO of Girls Inc. of Indianapolis. She says she has heard the term bossy since she was a child and has never thought of it as positive.

"Bossy does feel like a pejorative term. If a young man is determined and asks questions and is directive toward his peers, he's viewed as a leader. In a girl that's considered aggressive and inappropriate. I don't think we want young women intimidated out of leadership because they're ready to speak up and ask for answers."

Deborah Hearn Smith, chief executive officer of Girl Scouts of Central Indiana

Deborah Hearn Smith

"We want girls to know what leadership is all about, who we are and what we about. We want girls to stand up and be leaders and not be dissuaded from that. This campaign is a collaboration between some great women leaders from all areas. It is more than a slogan; it is a program for us."

"We're finding a barrier that girls don't want to be called bossy and we have talked with girls who actually tell us that you can't be bossy and have friends. That's the message girls are getting and that's not the message we're giving boys. If you tell a little girl, she's bossy, it's usually telling her to tone it down. Girls need to see themselves in a leadership role, they need to see that they can direct and lead."

Call Star reporter Dana Hunsinger Benbow at (317) 444-6012. Follow her on Twitter: @danabenbow.

Call Star reporter Shari Rudavsky at (317) 444-6354. Follow her on Twitter @srudavsky.