24 ridiculous things that shouldn't be sexy costumes
Back in the day, sexy Halloween costumes were more straight-forward.
"Mean Girls" taught us that Halloween was the only time of the year when wearing underwear in public was acceptable. Sexy costume options were limited to the role-playing bedroom-type things: cops, nurses, Playboy Bunny.
Then it evolved — or devolved, depending on how you look at it — into a race for the most current and the funniest, like last year's hit Sexy Pizza Rat from lingerie and costume site yandy.com.
"We always try to stay topical and front of mind," Yandy spokeswoman Sarah Chamberlain said. "We find that, especially over the last few years, that those do the best for us. Our bread and butter is the sexy costumes."
This year's play at the most topical and funny? Yandy’s Sexy Undecided Voter. That’s right, there’s a sexy costume in likeness of Ken Bone the guy who became famous for wearing a red sweater and asking a question at the second presidential debate. And the demand is clearly there — sexy Ken Bone sold out within hours of being posted to the site.
"We weren’t expecting that at all," Chamberlain said. "We just thought it would be funny to get it up on the site quickly. It was a lot bigger of a costume than we were anticipating."
Don’t worry: He’s back in stock on yandy.com. The price? $95.95. Chamberlain attributes that to the high-quality materials and quick turnaround.
"We're able to manufacture them really quickly," she said. "They're not a typical bag costume that you find at your Halloween store."
Generally speaking, the smaller or more topical the costume, the higher the price. And online shops like halloweencostumes.com have no problem selling sexy costumes.
"The biggest thing with sexy costumes is that the demand is high," halloweencostumes.com marketing manager Leigh Wendinger said. "We always like to bring some humor."
This year's best-sellers, Wendinger said, are a sexy Poison Ivy costume, a comfortable-looking bat costume, a sexy version of Little Mermaid and whatever a Wonderland-themed cat is.
But you came here to look at this year's most ridiculous sexy costumes, not to learn facts about things. So let's get on with it:
1. Sexy taco
You know, it really wasn't all that sexy until they added a scandalous and revealing sombrero. No, but seriously. Everyone loves tacos. This is brilliant. (It's also a popular one. There's only one left.) ($59.99.)
2. Sexy poop emoji
Sexy is combining two great things, right? Poop and a way to communicate through pictures without all that pesky talking. All in one neat little brown glorified leotard package! ($57.95.)
3. Sexy Diet Coke
New Halloween pick-up line: "Baby, yo aspartame so sweet, it's almost sugar." ($29.99.)
4. Sexy Donald Trump
The price tag on this tiny costume might be more offensive than anything the costume wearer will say while in character. $72 and the hat and wig aren't included?! (Neither are the Tic-Tacs.) ($71.95.)
5. Sexy Hillary Clinton
You'll probably be cold wearing this pantsless pantsuit — in more ways than one. ($61.95.)
6. Sexy Dumb and Dumber
Because nothing — and we really mean that, nothing — is sexier than Lloyd's bowl cut. ($39.99 to $49.99.)
7. Sexy The Dress
This orange-and-chartreuse dress probably would've been more topical last year, don't you think? ($27.95.)
8. Sexy squirrel
Too nuts to be sexy. ($49.99 to $59.99.)
9. Sexy Babe the Blue Ox
Isn't it a little odd to turn a huge and lumbering animal into something sexy? One could even say it's an ... oxymoron. ($29.99 to $39.99.)
10. Sexy toddler in a tiara
Is this supposed to be Honey Boo Boo, child? Let's see if we've got this right: This is an adult woman dressed as a baby inappropriately dressed as a sexy adult woman? ($24.95.)
11. Sexy Optimus Prime
Calling all Naughtobots! The Desexticons are coming! ($29.99 to $44.99.)
12. Sexy Hamburglar
If you're in a pickle and want to ketchup, here's a cheesy option. And it comes with two buns. ($34.99 to $49.99.)
13. Sexy Cookie Monster
You're going to need to clear your browser's cookies after looking at this one. And what's with the headpiece?! ($34.99.)
14. Sexy American flag
There's really no better representation of America in 2016 than this costume. ($29.99.)
15. Sexy sriracha
There's nothing hotter than The Rooster. Cocka-doodle-doo. (Sorry. That creeped even us out.) ($29.99.)
16. Sexy Marty McFly
If they couldn't handle "Johnny B. Goode," what do you think 1950s Hill Valley would think of THIS? ($39.99 to $49.99.)
17. Sexy Nemo
We're not sure what you're looking for, but we hope this isn't it. ($19.99.)
18. Sexy french fries
Yeah, because nothing says sexy like mass-produced almost-food starch sticks sprinkled with flavor crystals and deep-fried to a golden, greasy brown. ($18.95.)
19. Sexy Fun Dip
Whew. We thought this would be a cannister of Skoal at first. The lesson here is that could always be worse. ($29.99.)
20. Sexy Pikachu
Well, this one was inevitable. We're also realizing there's a disturbing correlation between adorable children's things and sexy costumes. ($74.99.)
21. Sexy credit card
The national debt is no laughing matter, but let's be honest: There are too many good "insertion chip" jokes to let this one slide. ($26.98.)
22. Sexy Jäger
Because licorice-flavored vomit chunks in your hair the next morning is suuuuper sexy. Plus, 2004 called, and it wants its party booze back. ($25.07.)
23. Sexy Ronald McDonald
We shouldn't include this one because we already did Hamburglar, but we have to. LOOK HOW RIDICULOUS THIS COSTUME IS. ($29.99 to $49.99.)
24. Sexy bacon
Get a life, costume makers. ($24.99.)
IndyStar News Director Alvie Lindsay contributed to the Hamburglar joke on this report. Call Amy Bartner, who is dressing up as Sexy Weird Al for Halloween, at (317) 444-6752 and follow her on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.