Michelle Obama: Here's how women can stop selling themselves short

More than 13,000 girls, women and a sprinkling of men came to see Michelle Obama in Indianapolis on Tuesday night, each of them hungry for a little inspiration. 

Judging from the raucous response in the cavernous Bankers Life Fieldhouse, the former first lady delivered. She gave voice to their hopes and fears for the future, challenged them to be bold and brave, encouraged them to be their own best advocates and to be comfortable in their own skin, and, perhaps most importantly, she told them to vote. 

"An active, engaged, intelligent, informed electorate helps us all," Obama said. "That's what you can do right now. And not just every four years. Every office matters."

At the same time, she urged the audience to wake up every day and strive to be decent people, "kind and open and generous and compassionate, showing empathy for others."

It was the kind of message that Jantina Anderson needed to hear. The human resources manager brought her two young daughters, her mother and her husband to the event presented by Women's Fund of Central Indiana.

"Her authenticity was expected, but the level of it was refreshing," Anderson said. "Everything she encouraged us to do, she was presenting it up there. Go out, take a risk, be yourself. You're smart, you're capable — she exuded it the whole night."

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Obama, who grew up in Chicago surrounded by an involved, extended family, talked about the importance of positive mentors in young people's lives, urging them to look beyond celebrities or public figures.

"The most important role models are right in front of you," she told young people in the audience, including 300 IPS students who received free tickets to the event. Too many youths, especially those of color, get the message that they are not good enough, not smart enough, she said.

Her message to them was the same as it was to everyone in the room: You're smarter than you think you are, and you deserve a seat at the table.

Kids who have been marginalized are thinking "What did I do wrong?" when in fact most of them are doing the right things, Obama said, going to school, getting good grades, staying out of trouble, "because that's exactly what the vast majority of kids of color are doing."

"They're not in gangs, they're not doing drugs, they're not robbing and stealing; they're me," she said. "I am the kid you're afraid of."

The key is to practice ignoring negative messages, Obama said.

"You have to practice pushing through it. You have to practice achieving through other people's low expectations of you." 

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Obama talked politics but not party during the conversation, moderated by Alecia DeCoudreaux, a founding board member of Women’s Fund. She stuck to a positive message throughout the night, urging everyone to "act with decency and with some compassion."

"Everybody's waking up every day just trying to get by," she said. "They want to go to work, they want to send their kids to college, they don't want crime, they don't want anybody hurt, they just want a fair shake.

"And if we just believe that basic decency in ourselves and we act in that way ... in our politics, in our church, in our schools, that's powerful. That is a powerful thing that each and every one of us can do right now, today."

Sierra Nuckols, a Hanover College student who attended with a group from the Desmond Tutu Center in Indianapolis, said Obama's message was a "much-needed refresher of inspiration."

"I really needed to be reminded that being assertive is a good thing," Nuckols said. "She helped me remember to be confident in the work I do and to always remember my worth."

Asked how she made her voice heard throughout her career, Obama said, "I was loud and persistent. ... It takes a little courage. We have to be a little pushy sometimes, and sometimes we have to disagree and take some risks."

She urged those in attendance to do the work it takes to fix problems in the country, especially in the areas of education, health care, mental health and homelessness.

"There are people who are born into circumstances that we can’t even imagine," she said. "We have the resources … there’s enough of us doing well nowadays to be able to reach down and figure out a way to make sure that all schools are good and solid and competitive, that everybody has health care … everybody has a place to lay their head."

Those are the sentiments that brought Kay Janney to the event. Her birthday present to herself was a $250 floor seat. She came alone but was surrounded by women and men who shared her enthusiasm for the speaker.

"She inspires me. I remember her saying when you get to a certain point in your life, to reach back and grab someone's hand to bring them forward. That really resonated with me," Janney said. 

Others in attendance echoed those remarks, calling Obama's message "a ray of hope in dismal times."

Linda Everett brought her husband, Dubois, and granddaughter, Jala Peters, to the event. "Michelle represents inspiration and hope, the same as Barack did," Everett said.

Jennifer Pope Baker, executive director of Women's Fund, said Tuesday night's event raised more than $1 million for the nonprofit, which provides grants to nonprofit organizations addressing four focus areas: care giving, domestic violence, economic empowerment and issues facing girls.

Call IndyStar reporter Maureen Gilmer at (317) 444-6879. Follow her on Facebook and Twitter.